Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Gabi & Debbie (Gabi V Debbie) from “Lazooz”

Gabi & Debbie (Gabi V Debbie) from “Lazooz”
courtesy of http://www.teev.com/hadag/elyrics.htm

Listen to this short story
Maybe even a little funny
About the day I met
Gabi and Debbie with the magic stick.

I went over one evening in all innocence
Looked around here and there
When suddenly everyone was talking English
And they all went black and white.

Everyone was there:
Miss Ding Dong
Scooterman,
And that cowboy, whatsisname?
There was Dr. Half-Baked
Mr. Kashtan
Jeremy Kaplan
And his dad, too.

And Gabi and Debbie,
But they were standing apart.
Debbie seemed pissed,
And Gabi troubled.

They said they’d lost
Some magic stick
And asked me if I’d mind
Helping them find it?
Said, “Cool – there a prize for the finder?”

They told me that if I find it
They’d fly to any place in the world
I wanted.

Found the stick in a flash
Because Gabi had put it in his back pocket,
The f***wit [or: jerk]

“Woohoo!”
I shouted like Homer Simpson
On ecstasy.

Let’s fly to Paris Sheraton Hotel
There there is a Bru La Fot
And an amazing brothel
That’s were I’d like to be.

Debbie cleared her throat and said,
“You have to understand.
We’d be happy to oblige,
But we have unfortunately a few limitations.
First of all, this is educational TV,
So the message has to be positive.
You don’t have in mind some place more Zionistic?”

“What is Zionistic?” I said. “What? Like Herzl?”
OOPS!
We landed in Basle.

HaDag Nahash is doing Zionist rap [lit., hip hop]
HaDag Nahash is doing Zionist rap [lit., hip hop]
HaDag Nahash is doing Zionist rap [lit., hip hop]
HaDag Nahash is doing Zionist rap [lit., hip hop]

Herzl is leaning on his balcony
So mellow.
The moment I saw him
I was turned off.

Is he not ashamed to chill out like nothing’s up
When the whole country’s
going up in fire.
What is he
Oblivious?

I looked him real well in the eyes
From close up.
What a hoot/How amazing
The pupis dilated
And the white of the eye
--what’s this? –
all red.
“Psst,” I whispered
“Looks like he’s stoned.”

Gabi said,
“Shut up, play it cool.”

But I couldn’t hold back
And I went for the visionary
Of the State
With no ebarrassment.

With all the details of
The awful and hard state of the nation
I told him of the car accidents
I told him of the handicapped on strike
I told him of the quarter million unemployed
And I told him of the corrupt politicians.

Herzl didn’t respond
Just smiled broadly
Stuck his had deep in his pocket.

I try to emphasize
That there’s no peace,
No security
That I’ve had enough of living in terror

Herzl just put me a
Pill on a my tongue
And said
“If you take it, it won’t be a dream!”

HaDag Nahash is doing Zionist rap [lit., hip hop]
HaDag Nahash is doing Zionist rap [lit., hip hop]

I didn’t succeed in understanding
What had happened to me
Suddenly I have a carbine in my hands
I found myself in the battle for Tel Hai.

Woa
I don’t want a weapon
I don’t have the desire
I’ve got a profile of 21 [a psychological profile that allows release from the army, number 21]

But Gabi told me that
The story of Tel Hai
Is very significant
And it’s important
To learn about it.

I recognized Trumpeldor
Immediately
What a weapon
Nu, the one with the arm
Or actually, without.

“How’s it going, Yosef?” I asked politely.
But Trumpeldor was edgy
And angry.

Suddenly the wind blew up a dust cloud.
Trumpeldor choked and croaked
And spat out some green stuff
Right next to us
And afterwards coughed
And said,
“It’s good to gob n our land…”

HaDag Nahash is doing Zionist rap [lit., hip hop]
HaDag Nahash is doing Zionist rap [lit., hip hop]

Suddenly it all got
Too much for me.
My legs gave way,
I fell to the floor and yelled,
“Enough!”

“This trip was supposed to have been
A real treat
It’s no fun with you guys
At all.
You screwed me over,
You screwed me over!”

Debbie recovered first,
And turned to me with
A motherly look.

“You’re right,” she said,
“Now we’ll fly
Wherever you want,
Wherever you say.”

Oh, at last!

“Just not to Jerusalem 2002,”
I said.

But apparently they didn’t
Hear the
“Not.”

Because precisely to here
“To where?”
Exactly to here
“Where?”
Precisely to here I returned.

HaDag Nahash is doing Zionist rap [lit., hip hop]
HaDag Nahash is doing Zionist rap [lit., hip hop]

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